two questions, four cards

I’m finding I like two-card draws, and I have a question, so here we go.

Why does marriage keep coming up today?  (Once at work, “Emily, you’ll want to get married one day…” and two old friends recently getting married.)

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The Tower, Page of Cups

I’ve been thinking about how the Tower reminds me of my experience being married (spoiler: not a good experience), and lately I’ve been able to detach from the subject, which is new.  I used to have a big mess of feelings about marriage and could barely stand to even see photos of a wedding, even a stranger’s.  The Page of Cups is me, starting over, learning to be myself while getting back in touch with the “me” I remember myself as.

What can I learn from this?

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Seven of Cups, Queen of Pentacles

Seven of Cups is indecision and hesitating, afraid to make the wrong choice.  The Queen of Pentacles is a supremely content woman, secure and contemplative.  It’s being stuck on the journey, and also completing the journey.  The pair together tells me that no matter my fears and no matter my past, I can have faith in myself; I’m a new person already and I’m not only defined by who I used to be.  Don’t ignore my present self for my future goals.

It reminds me of something Pema Chödrön said in “The wisdom of no escape” ; something like, “self-improvement is a sort of violence against yourself.”  Maybe just stop freaking out about the best way to go forward, and just sit and be still.  You already exist.

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two questions, four cards

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